Weak

I am in it and it gets crazier everyday. As silly as it sounds, (he's only been home a couple weeks) he drives me nuts. He has been able to do to me what no man before him has...He has turned me into "THAT" girl. I am now that girl who gets excited at the thought of being with him, who (no matter how many times he's done it,) still blushes every time he reaches for my hand, and the girl who wants to spend all day with him. There is no fear when I'm with him, except that he will have to leave. There is no insecurity, until he is gone. There is no ego, except in joking. But most importantly, there IS a spirituality to him that I have been searching for. I wish I could come here and write about other things but the fact of the matter is, he's always on my mind. "If you really knew me" you would know that this is the point where it all usually has gone downhill. Honestly, I'm scared but I have this calming reassurance that I don't NEED to be scared. There is a kindness and an honesty in his eyes that gives me that reassurance.  I love the way he looks at me, I love the way he wants to take care of me and I love the relationship that he has already developed with his Heavenly Father. I love that he takes all the things I used to tease others about and makes me appreciate them. (He calls me "baby".  hahahahahaha. I know it's supposed to be cute but I STILL find it corny.)  I know it's a bit early but I know that I've never let myself feel these things (muchless share them with the world) before. It is strange because as vulnerable as I feel, I also feel that one of two things can happen...I can either experience wonderful blessings as a result of his presence in my life or I can get hurt. I have never been ok with the latter of the two but somehow I feel like if I get hurt, I'm meant to experience that as well.  I am so excited for what the Lord has in store for me. This has been a long time coming but I'm ready to take each beautiful day as it comes. I realize that this is a choppy version of my thoughts but I write em as they come.  :)  The girls of SWV know exactly what i'm talking about.

I don't know what it is that you've done to me...
but it's caused me to act in such a crazy way.
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing...
it's a feeling I don't understand.

'Cause my heart starts beating triple time,
with thoughts of loving you on my mind.
I can't figure out just what to do,
when the cause and cure is you.

I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak.
I lose all control and something takes over me.
In a daze and it's so amazing, it's not a phase.
I want you to stay with me, by my side.
I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet.
It knocks me right off of my feet.
I can't explain why your loving makes me weak.

t's Time after time after time I've tried to fight it.
But your love is strong it keeps on holding on.
Resistance is down when you're around, starts fading.
In my condition I don't want to be alone.

Cause my heart starts beating triple time,
with thoughts of loving you on my mind.
I can't figure out just what to do,
when the cause and cure is you.

I try hard to fight it.
No way can I deny it.
Your love's so sweet.
It knocks me off my feet.

I get so weak...
Blood starts racing through my veins
I get so weak...
Boy it's something I can't explain.
I get so weak...
Something 'bout the way you do
the things you do ooh ooh, it...
knocks me right off of my feet,
off of my feet.
Can't explain why your loving makes me weak.

sheesh.